More Beloved

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ، نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ، وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ، وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ، يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ، يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ نَفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا، يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَقُولُوا قَوْلًا سَدِيدًا يُصْلِحْ لَكُمْ أَعْمَالَكُمْ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ وَمَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ فَازَ فَوْزًا عَظِيمًا، أَمَّا بَعْدُ.

My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, I would like to begin today with a question. When did someone in our own home last hear us say out loud that we love them? For some of us, it was this morning. For others, it was years ago. And for some of us, if we are honest, these words have never once been said, not to our mothers, not to our brothers, not to our daughters, although we would give our lives for them, every single one of them.

Brothers and sisters, the Prophet ﷺ did not leave his love unspoken. He took Mu‘adh ibn Jabal once by the hand and said to him, "يَا مُعَاذُ، وَاللَّهِ إِنِّي لَأُحِبُّكَ" — “O Mu‘adh, by Allah, I love you.” The Messenger ﷺ swore an oath so that Mu‘adh would never be in doubt of his love.

On another occasion, a man sitting with the Nabi ﷺ pointed at someone passing by and said, “I love him.” The Prophet ﷺ asked him whether he had told him of this love, and when the man said that he had not, the Messenger ﷺ said to him, “Go and tell him.”

I begin with these words because Allah ’Azza wa Jal revealed an entire surah about a family, about the love within it and how it was finally restored to its proper place after it was misread and misused. Allah ’Azza wa Jal calls it "أَحْسَنَ الْقَصَصِ", the best of stories. And brothers and sisters, how many of the families in this masjid today will find themselves in it?

Love is named directly at three different turning points in this surah, and each time, it is a different love. The first comes at the very beginning of the story. The brothers gather together and they say, "إِذْ قَالُوا لَيُوسُفُ وَأَخُوهُ أَحَبُّ إِلَى أَبِينَا مِنَّا وَنَحْنُ عُصْبَةٌ" — it is obvious that our father loves Yusuf and loves his brother more than us, although we are a strong group, although we’ve done more than either of them. "إِنَّ أَبَانَا لَفِي ضَلَالٍ مُبِينٍ" — it is obvious that our father is deluded.

What had they seen to warrant this claim? Yusuf, when sharing the details of his dream to his father, calls his father "يَا أَبَتِ" — “O my dear father.” And a father who calls and responds and answers, "يَا بُنَيَّ" — “O my dear son.” These are the words of a son who is at ease with his father, and of a father who has compassion and his undivided attention to his son. Ya‘qub ‘alayhis-salam was a prophet, and he did not wrong his sons, but his sons were watching and they interpreted what they saw in the worst possible way.

Then the Quran lets us hear their reasoning, in their words: "اقْتُلُوا يُوسُفَ" — kill Yusuf, or cast him out to some distant land so that we can have our father’s attention. And after that, we may be righteous. After we kill him, after we exile him, we can change our ways.

Brothers and sisters, isn’t this voice something that we recognize? “I will make peace with my brother, but not yet. I will call my sister, but once she apologizes first. I will put things right once this argument has been won.” Jealousy rarely drives us to give up goodness altogether. It asks for one wrong, only one, and it promises that righteousness can come afterwards.

O servants of Allah, the brothers did not lack their father’s love. What they lacked was the reception and the feeling of being loved. And a child can grow up in a house full of love and never once feel it.

This is why when one of the companions came to the Prophet ﷺ and told him about a gift that he had given to only one of his sons, and the Prophet ﷺ asked whether he had given each and every one of his children the same, to which he said he had not, and the Prophet ﷺ said, "اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَاعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ أَوْلَادِكُمْ" — “Fear Allah and be just between your children.”

Dear parents, love within a family must be seen as well as felt. And fairness is how the children see it. That fairness lies in far more than gifts. It lies in the time we give, the time that we give to the children, or the broken attention we offer; in the love that we pour into some, and not to others; in whose achievements we celebrate, and others we forget; in which child we listen to, and which children we only instruct. Children keep count of these things, even when we are not.

The second time love is named, many years have passed, and Yusuf ‘alayhis-salam is no longer a boy living with his family. He’s a young man in a powerful household of Egypt, and the women of the city are talking about the wife of al-’Aziz: "قَدْ شَغَفَهَا حُبًّا" — love for him, love for Yusuf has struck deep into her heart. "إِنَّا لَنَرَاهَا فِي ضَلَالٍ مُبِينٍ" — we clearly see her that she’s astray; she has been blinded by love.

And look at where that love took her. A noble woman of Egypt locked the doors, accused an innocent man before her husband, and finally declared that if Yusuf did not obey her, he would be thrown into prison. One boundary after another fell, until the man she claimed to love was the man she was ready to lock up in a cell. When love is given to the wrong thing, it can drive us beyond recognition.

Brothers and sisters, any love can do this once it breaks through its walls, and not only for the love of one person to another. The love of wealth leads an honest man to cut the corners he once swore he would never cut. The love of status leads us to step over the very people who helped climb us. The love of approval, of being seen and praised, slowly reshapes us to suit the people, the audience that we wish to find approval. And the love of a person whom Allah ’Azza wa Jal has made unlawful for us begins in a conversation that seemed harmless. Each begins small, asks us to cross one more boundary, and then one more, until we are willing to go for any length to reach it.

And what is it that we are chasing? The pursuit of this world is a pursuit of faults. Everything in it is flawed, and everything in it ends. The status fades, the beauty ages, the praise is then moved on to someone else, and the person we believed would complete us turns out, like any other person, is only human. Sooner rather than later, every love of this world will disappoint us, because none of it was made to carry the full weight of the heart. Allah ’Azza wa Jal calls it "مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ", the enjoyment of delusion.

So let us ask ourselves, at what cost? For what are we prepared to trade our deen? For a craving that we fed for years? For a few hours? For a single flashing moment? The Prophet ﷺ told us that when the people of Jannah have entered Jannah, Allah ’Azza wa Jal will lift the veil: "فَمَا أُعْطُوا شَيْئًا أَحَبَّ إِلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّظَرِ إِلَى رَبِّهِمْ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ" — and there will not be anything that's been given to them that's more beloved to them, "أَحَبَّ إِلَيْهِمْ", than looking at their Lord, the Mighty, the Majestic. Of every pleasure in Jannah, the most beloved of them all will be to gaze upon the face of Allah in a bliss that never ends. Brothers and sisters, is a flashing moment of this world worthy of forgoing this opportunity?

Then, love is also named a third time. Yusuf is surrounded. The doors have been locked behind him. The women of the city are now urging him towards sin. And he turns to his Lord and he says, "قَالَ رَبِّ السِّجْنُ أَحَبُّ إِلَيَّ مِمَّا يَدْعُونَنِي إِلَيْهِ" — “My Lord, prison has been made more beloved to me than that which they invite me to.”

Brothers and sisters, it is the very same word that his brothers once uttered, saying that Yusuf was more beloved to their father than they were. Now Yusuf says that prison is more beloved to him than sin. Does anyone love a prison cell? Of course not. Yet what Allah ’Azza wa Jal is teaching us through the actions and the words of Yusuf ‘alayhis-salam is that love is an order of preference. Every heart holds many loves, and the only question is, which one will stand on top?

The Prophet ﷺ used this very construction when he described the sweetness of faith. There are qualities, ﷺ said, whoever possesses them has found "حَلَاوَةَ الْإِيمَانِ", the sweetness of faith: "أَنْ يَكُونَ اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَحَبَّ إِلَيْهِ مِمَّا سِوَاهُمَا" — and that Allah ’Azza wa Jal and His Messenger are more beloved to him than anything besides them; "وَأَنْ يُحِبَّ الْمَرْءَ لَا يُحِبُّهُ إِلَّا لِلَّهِ" — that he loves a person only for the sake of Allah.

The brothers placed their father’s attention at the top. The wife of al-’Aziz placed her desire at the top. And Yusuf ‘alayhis-salam put his love of Allah at the very top, and therefore he gave up his freedom for His sake. And at the end of the surah, who walks free? Who sits upon the throne? To whom do the brothers go to for their needs? To the one who chose the prison.

O servants of Allah, when Allah is the most beloved to us, every other love falls into its proper place. Our love for our children becomes just, our love for our spouses become healthy, and our love for this world at last loosens its hold upon us. "أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ، فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ."

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ، وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِهِ الْأَمِينِ، أَمَّا بَعْدُ فَيَا مَعْشَرَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ: أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ.

Brothers and sisters, we have spoken about the different loves within a heart. But what of the people around us? What of our own homes? Surah Yusuf does not end in a prison. It ends with a family gathered around a throne. And the road that brought them there teaches us three things.

The first is a love that endures. Ya‘qub ‘alayhis-salam was parted from his son for years upon years. He wept until his eyes turned white with grief. His sons rebuked him, asking whether he would ever stop forgetting Yusuf. And he answered them, "إِنَّمَا أَشْكُو بَثِّي وَحُزْنِي إِلَى اللَّهِ" — “I only complain of my anguish and my grief to Allah.” He did not stop loving; he carried the pain of that love to Allah ’Azza wa Jal. To the mothers and fathers here whose children have drifted, whether from the deen or from you, do not let that love end. Bring its pain to Allah ’Azza wa Jal, and do not let your last words to them be ones that are harsh, and keep the door open for them to return.

The second is a love that forgives and forgets. After the well, after the lies, after all those years, the brothers finally stand before Yusuf, who now holds power over them. Yusuf ‘alayhis-salam says, "لَا تَثْرِيبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْيَوْمَ" — “There is no blame upon you.” "يَغْفِرُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ" — “May Allah ’Azza wa Jal forgive you.” "وَهُوَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ" — “He is the Most Merciful of those who show mercy.” Tathreeb is to rebuke someone again and again, to keep returning to their faults, and Yusuf ‘alayhis-salam did not even let himself do that. Forgiveness, then, does not require us to pretend that nothing happened. Yusuf knew exactly what had happened to him. But what he refused to do is allow that to be used as a weapon. How many of us say that we have forgiven, and then bring the matter up again for years on end? Yusuf forgave once, and the matter was closed.

The third is a love that is spoken. This family began with tender words: "يَا أَبَتِ", "يَا بُنَيَّ", “My dear father,” “My dear son.” Those words kept a way open for them to return to one another. And when the companion went to his brother where he said, “I love you for the sake of Allah,” his brother replied, “May the One for whose sake you love me love you.” Shall we do any less for our own families? Let us each and every one of us tell one person in our family who has not heard it from us for a very long time that we love them — a father, a brother, a child who has matured faster than we could ever have kept up with. And if there is a brother or sister who may have wronged you, let it be this week which you say to them what Yusuf ‘alayhis-salam said to his brothers: "لَا تَثْرِيبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْيَوْمَ" — there is no blame upon you today.

The Prophet ﷺ said, "الْمَرْءُ مَعَ مَنْ أَحَبَّ" — a person will be with those who he loves. Surah Yusuf ends with a family reunited. The parents are raised upon the throne. The brothers are forgiven. And Yusuf says, “This is the fulfillment of my dream from long ago. My Lord has made it true.”

Brothers and sisters, that reunion is a glimpse of the one that awaits the believers, a Jannah where families separated in this world are gathered together once more, with no envy between them, with no well or no prison. We ask Allah to make Himself the most beloved to us above everything besides Him. We ask Allah to teach us to forgive the way Yusuf forgave, and to grieve the way Ya‘qub grieved, bringing our sorrow only to Allah. We ask Allah to gather us, our families, and everyone in this masjid in Jannah as neighbors, together with those we loved for His sake.

إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا. اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا صَلَّيْتَ عَلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَعَلَى آلِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ إِنَّكَ حَمِيدٌ مَجِيدٌ. اللَّهُمَّ بَارِكْ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا بَارَكْتَ عَلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَعَلَى آلِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ إِنَّكَ حَمِيدٌ مَجِيدٌ. اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِنَا فِيمَنْ هَدَيْتَ، وَعَافِنَا فِيمَنْ عَافَيْتَ، وَتَوَلَّنَا فِيمَنْ تَوَلَّيْتَ، وَبَارِكْ لَنَا فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَ، وَقِنَا شَرَّ مَا قَضَيْتَ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْضِي وَلَا يُقْضَى عَلَيْكَ، إِنَّهُ لَا يَذِلُّ مَنْ وَالَيْتَ، وَلَا يَعِزُّ مَنْ عَادَيْتَ، تَبَارَكْتَ رَبَّنَا وَتَعَالَيْتَ، يَا ذَا الْجَلَالِ وَالْإِكْرَامِ. عِبَادَ اللَّهِ، رَحِمَكُمُ اللَّهُ، إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَى وَيَنْهَى عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنْكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ. اذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ عَلَى نَعْمَائِهِ، وَاشْكُرُوهُ عَلَى آلَائِهِ، وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ، وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُونَ، وَأَقِيمُوا الصَّلَاةَ.